


just friends (?)

by desitonystark



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Insecure Steve Rogers, M/M, Minor Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark, Misunderstandings, POV Steve Rogers, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Pining Steve Rogers, Requited Unrequited Love, Steve Rogers-centric, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:02:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25085095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desitonystark/pseuds/desitonystark
Summary: Tony did this, thing where he fell in love with his friends. All of his friends, except maybe Steve.(too bad nobody told Steve)
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 56
Kudos: 249





	1. part 1

**Author's Note:**

> if this looks familiar - its because I posted it over a year ago and then I took it down because i didn't think I would ever finish it. but i got a random burst of inspiration a couple of days back and am working on the conclusion, so im reposting it because its almost done!!

Tony had this, it wasn’t a thing.

(it was a thing)

but it was a -

Jim described it best, Steve decided, back when Steve and Tony had just met and the friendship had been new.

“Tony does this thing,” Jim had said over a cup of coffee, “where he, he falls in love with his friends.”

Steve wasn’t quite sure what was wrong with that, which must’ve shown in his expression because Jim went on.

“Look he’s demisexual and demiromantic, and he’s not- he’s not had the easiest life. So whenever someone’s nice to him, just honest to god nice to him, he falls in love with them. It happened with me back at MIT, which lead to this whole gay panic that’s a story for another time, it happened with Pepper after she hired herself as his PA, and it happened with Gamora two years ago which was this whole thing because she identifies as an alien and nobody understands it but its just one of those things that we go along with.”

He took in this deep breath, “Look it’s just one of those things. Tony falls for everyone, his heart is huge; and if that’s going to weird you out then it's best you leave now, because I promise you - none of us will stand for you hurting him.”

And then Jim left a crisp 100 dollar bill and walked out of the coffee shop, leaving Steve with the distinct feeling that he was suddenly 4 foot nothing and pre pubescent again.

–

Except, it didn’t really happen the way Jim said it would; because it’s been 5 years and Steve is so in love with Tony he thinks that he might die from it.

and Tony?

Tony’s currently in love with Tiberius Stone,

–

and Rumiko Fujikawa,

–

and now it’s James fucking Barnes, and isn’t that just a complete shitshow?

Hell, Tony was infatuated by Sam for a few months before Jim hit him on the head and said  _ stop making eyes at my boyfriend asshole _ and he snapped out of it.

–

but never Steve.

–

Tony had this thing where he literally loved everyone and fell hopelessly in love with everyone he met,

except Steve.

which was fine, because Steve was arguably the most important person in Tony’s life (after Jim and Virginia but they didn’t count) and that was good enough for Steve. 

(it wasn’t good enough for Steve)

–

“It’s not really his choice,” Virginia had explained as they walked through MoMA, “but he’s had a really bad past you know.”

“And he just, he’s so starved for comfort that he takes it in any form he gets, and he returns it tenfold, like he’s scared he’ll lose it.”

Steve never begrudged Tony a hug, and always made sure to hold his hand, or kiss his cheek, or just simply smile every time Tony looked his way.

“And I’ll be honest, at first I thought it was just an infatuation too, I mean nobody falls in love that quickly and that much do they?”

“But Tony’s heart really is that big.”

Steve always made sure to sincerely thank Tony, to never cancel plans and he had the ringer for Tony’s number turned up to volumes even Bucky’s wasn’t.

“but that doesn’t mean any of us will stand to have it broken.”

–

Steve never really put much stock into what Jim and Virginia said until he saw it in action.

Dimly, he knew about Tiberius and Rumiko, but they were separate from Tony and Steve’s lives- and Steve could pretend they didn’t really exist and were just passing fads.

But the day Tony fell for Bucky, that’s when it really hit Steve.

–

Nobody knew about how Steve felt, even after 5 years. 

The only person Steve would’ve told was Buck- and he was overseas shooting at people in his super-secret exclusive merc job that Steve refused to join because  _ i'm done killing people Buck. _

The super-secret exclusive part of the job made it hard for Steve to catch him up on everything in Steve’s life, and Tony -

Tony wasn’t someone who could be explained, he had to be  _ experienced. _

_ – _

So Steve picks him up for the airport, clinging to him for a good 5 minutes before he starts (not so) scrupulously scanning him for injuries or bullet wounds or -

“Stevie knock it off I’m  _ fine _ ,” Buck pushes at his forehead until he looks up, and thrusts the duffle bag at him, “I was in France not Iraq I told you this a million times.”

“Twice,” Steve says on instinct, before moving back to avoid Buck’s swatting hands and walking towards the car, “Did France fry your brain cells?”

“Still got more than -,” Buck whistles lowly when he sees the car, “Damn Steve who you fucking for this?”

Steve furiously tamps down on the blush from the idea of fucking Tony and says, “I told you, he’s a platonic patron, and he’s one of my really good friends. Get in, we’re going to see Tony anyway.”

And he sees the way Buck’s eyes focus on Tony’s ass before he turns away from Virginia to greet them; the way  _ Tony’s _ eyes glint when he takes in Bucky in his full form.

So he nods and says “yes I’m sure,” when Bucky asks in a low voice, “you sure it's just platonic Stevie?”

–

Once he sees it though, he can’t unsee it.

Tony and Bucky fall together within a matter of weeks, and Steve-

Steve has to admit that he’s wrong,

because Tony really does fall in love that easily and quickly,

and it’s impossible to miss.

The way his eyes light up everytime Bucky’s around, the way he croons  _ James _ that does ridiculous things to Steve (which is so irrational because it's not even his name but Tony’s  _ voice _ ), the way he’s always in contact with Bucky- holding his hand, brushing against his leg, leaning his back against his chest and on one memorable occasion, intertwining their pinkies.

and Bucky clearly cares about him too because in all the years that Steve has known him he’s never known Bucky to look at someone the way he looks at Tony.

–

“Thank you,” Buck says one day, apropos of nothing; when they’re sitting across from the pool at Tony’s 4th of July Party.

“For the beer?” Steve asks, “Buck I’ve been bringing you stuff for the past 20 years if you start thanking now we’ll be here forever.”

Buck shakes his head and gestures his bottle towards  _ Tony _ and Steve’s throat feels like it's going to close up permanently.

“For him,” Bucky says, and his voice is unbearably fond, “I’d have never met him without you.”

“I’m gonna marry him, somebody Stevie, and I owe everything to you” he slaps Steve’s shoulder and walks over to Tony; putting his hand around his waist and pressing his lips to Tony’s smile.

Steve presses the bottle to his lips and drinks until his heartbeat is back to normal and says to no-one, “You have no idea.”

_ – _

He’s drunk and he’s spiteful and he’s hurting so much, and that’s what makes him turn to Buck a couple of nights later and say, “Tony does this thing where he falls in love with his friends. I’ve seen it happen with Tiberius and Rumiko, I’ve heard about it from Jim and Virginia.”

“But it never sticks.”

–

The next morning when he wakes up, the first thing he remembers with stunning clarity is Bucky’s downcast face and he feels like such an ass.

He scrambles around the bed for his phone, to call Bucky and apologize, but before he can unlock it- there’s a message on his screen from Tony.

Tony:  _ You and me? We’re  _ **_done._ **

Steve just about makes it to the bathroom before he heaves last night’s content into the bowl, 

and then he collapses against the wall,

and,

cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know its established buckytony rn but i promise, its endgame stevetony. just stick with me. part 2 will be out next week!!


	2. part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve deals with the repurcussions of his actions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just realised that i have a super busy day tomorrow so i didn't wanna accidentally forget to update this, so here's chapter 2 - a whole day early!!

The pain comes in waves.

–

The very first week after the text (Sam was calling it Textgate which would’ve been hilarious if it didn’t hurt so much) Steve calls endlessly.

Every single minute he’s off from work or not working on his graduate portfolio, Steve is calling and texting and on one memorable occasion, writing a letter.

He’s desperate for  _ any _ chance of talking to Tony.

(the calls and text go unanswered)

(the letter comes back undelivered)

–

After 2 weeks of radio silence, Steve shows up at Stark Industries, in his best fitting suit (the one Tony looked at, whistled lowly and said “you look lick-able Rogers”) and meets a stony faced Virginia.

‘Virginia hi is there -”

“It’s Ms Potts,” she interrupts smoothly, “and I’m under strict instructions from Mr Stark to turn you away.”

He’d forgotten that Virginia worked for Tony.

“Virg- Ms Potts  _ please.  _ I just need 5 minutes. I just need to explain myself please.”

He’s not above begging.

“Leave Mr Rogers,” she says before spinning on her heel, “Or I will have security escort you out.”

–

He’s frozen, immovable, stranded in the depths of his guilt and self loathing.

(he isn’t quite sure he deserves to get out)

–

He goes into the NYU art department, to fill out the application since he needed to start looking for a new patron now.

“Mr. Stark is still listed as your patron,” the clerk says with a very confused face, “He sent in a lump sum just a few days ago. Should I call him and inform him that you’re no longer interested in his patronage?”

“NO!” Steve says (a bit too loudly by the rise of the clerk’s eyebrow) and then lowers his voice, “No I’m very interested in his patronage. I just didn’t realise I had it, is all.”

“Look Mr. Rogers I’ve been working this desk for a long time, and I know you artist types can be,” he pauses delicately, “forgetful.”

He scribbles something, “Here’s Mr. Stark’s office number. I’m a very busy person, so maybe figure out what your situation is before you come and bother me.”

Steve barely remembers to thank the clerk and apologize, focusing on that feeling in his chest that feels suspiciously like  _ hope. _

–

He takes another 5 days before he dials the number, putting his phone on speaker and holding it close to his mouth.

It rings and rings and rings and finally,

“Stark on the line,”

_ Tony. _

_ God  _ he sounds, he sounds exactly the same (Steve has no idea why he expected Tony’s voice to change in 2 months when it hasn’t in 5 years)

“Hello?” Steve can hear the slight inflection in Tony’s voice that means he’s getting annoyed but he can’t seem to get his throat to work; too focused on the fact that he’s hearing  _ Tony’s voice after 2 months. _

“Alright look I don’t know what kind of practical joke you seem to think this is but I am a billionaire and I have better things to do then -”

“Tony, it’s me, it’s Steve.”

“Steve,” Tony’s voice is carefully blank and Steve thinks his heart might break all over again.

“How did you get this number?” In all the years he’s known him, he’s never heard Tony talk like this- like he’s talking to an automated machine.

“I uh, the clerk at the patron office gave it to me. I went to file for a new patron but apparently you sent in money a few days ago?”

Tony laughs and it's so dark, it pierces through Steve, “your career is fine Rogers. If that's all?”

He cuts the line before Steve has a chance to answer, to apologize.

And Steve presses his hand against his chest, and lets the tears fall.

(he was right)

(his heart did break all over again)

–

Sam comes to visit him, which is when things start to fall in perspective.

“Out!” Sam kicks him in the chins, “get out of the bed you miserable lug.”

(never let it be said that Sam pulls his punches)

“You’re not the only one hurting you know,” Sam says once Steve has showered and cooked him (him being Sam) a batch of pancakes (under extreme duress)

“I mean, I know you know that Tony is hurting. But this isn’t easy for me and Bucky either.”

_ oh my god Bucky. _

“Hey he doesn’t blame you,” something must show on Steve’s face because Sam backtracks immediately, “he gets it. We all do,” he grimaces slightly. “James and Pepper don’t- but we’re working on them.”

Steve raises his eyebrows, “I hurt Tony. There’s no way they’re going to forgive them.”

( _ I don’t expect them too _ , he leaves out)

“Look they know you didn’t mean to, and it's only because your dumbass was in love with Tony,” Steve chokes on his orange juice, “and if I can convince James to date me, I can do anything.”

“Wait hold up backtrack a bit, you  _ knew _ ?” 

“Yeah Steve,  _ everyone _ knew,” Sam counts off fingers, “Me, James, Pepper, hell even Bucky knew.”

Sam places his hand on Steve’s shoulder, “The only person who didn’t know was Tony. And as harsh as it sounds, Bucky got tired of waiting for you to fess up, and got tired of ignoring his own emotions.”

Steve slumps against his seat, “Buck- Buck knew?”

“I’m not trying to hurt you Steve, because I know you love Tony. But Bucky is your bestfriend of 20 years man, friendships like that don’t come easy. Maybe you need to consider that Tony’s not the only person you need to be reaching out too.”

–

The next day he texts Bucky.

–

Steve gets up from his seat, and is suddenly unsure of whether he’s supposed to pull Bucky in for a hug the way he usually does, or just shake his hand like they’re acquaintances.

Bucky solves his dilemma by pulling him into a tight hug, and it fixes something inside of him that he didn’t know was broken.

“It's good to see you man,” Bucky says, lifting up his mug to take a sip of his coffee, “It’s weird not talking to you for 3 months.”

“That's what happens when your bestfriend is dating the guy you love” just because Steve missed Bucky doesn’t mean he isn’t hurt.

Bucky places his mug down, “I see we’re not beating around the bush”

“In the effort of full disclosure, I did genuinely believe you when you told me that it was platonic.”

“But I saw how much it was killing you, me and Tony together and I tried to break it off remember?” 

Steve remembers. Tony’s downcast eyes and the way he would turn in himself everytime he and Bucky were in the same room.

Bucky points at him,” and  _ you _ pushed for me to get back together with him. Remember that? I said no over and over but you just wouldn’t let it go,” he spreads out his arms, “and I was half in love with him myself by that point. After a while I couldn’t convince myself that it was for the best because you weren’t ever gonna fess up to your feelings.”

Steve would’ve done _ anything _ to get Tony to smile like that again, even if it meant thrusting Bucky at him.

“Look Steve you’re my family you know that,” Bucky takes in a deep breath, “But I was miserable, you were miserable, and so was Tony. It didn’t make sense for all of us to be miserable, especially since you were never going to tell Tony how you felt. And you kept throwing me at him like I -”

“I just wanted to be happy Steve, that's all. I never wanted it to be at the expense of your happiness, and I tried to back away I  _ did. _ But for fuck’s sake Steve you wouldn’t even tell  _ me _ how you felt and I just- I didn’t see any point in all of us being miserable is all.”

“You really do make him happy,” Steve says finally, “I was his friend for 5 years and I’ve never seen him smile the way he does around you.”

Bucky smiles, but there’s something broken about it, “yeah well, doesn’t really matter anymore; because we broke up a few weeks ago.”

and,  _ oh. _

–

It’s weird, hanging out with Bucky with this  _ thing _ hanging over their heads.

It’s hard being his bestfriend when Bucky knows that Steve is happy that Bucky and Tony broke up.

But they manage.

and while it doesn’t fix Steve’s heart, it does make his life calmer.

(his life is always calmer with Bucky around)

–

It all comes to a head about 6 months later.

Steve’s in his usual coffee shop, which is just a few blocks away from Stark Industries so it genuinely shouldn’t be a surprise.

but he still feels like the wind’s been knocked out of him when he looks up from his sketchbook and sees,

_ Tony  _

(who’s frozen from his place in line, looking directly at him)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this is your first time reading this story, congrats now you're all caught up!! if you remember reading this story from a year ago - im sorry 😔 but you're finally getting your conclusion!!


	3. part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Tony: six months after "Text-gate"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i said this was only going to be three parts, but i guess i had more to say that i thought i did?? idk it felt a bit unfair to automatically fix things between Tony and Steve, so there's going to be one more part and possibly an epilogue?? if that's something people would be interested in??

There’s moments in Steve’s life, where time feels like it's come to a standstill. Where nobody moves, nobody even breathes - they’re just suspended. 

This moment, when he looks up to see Tony staring back at him, this is one of those moments. The entire coffee shop dulls around him, faint background noise compared to the pounding of his heart - and all Steve can see is Tony. 

He wants to move, to get out of his seat and walk over to Tony, to talk to him, to touch him, to explain - but he’s stuck to his seat; immobile under the sheer weight of Tony’s gaze. 

He’s imagined this moment for months, it's not beneath him to admit that he frequents this coffee shop with this very scenario in mind; but now that it's actually happening - Steve has no idea what to do. 

There’s small mercy in the fact that Tony seems to be the same: stuck, unmoving, that is of course until the old gentleman standing behind him in line prods him none too gently with his walking stick and complains that Tony’s holding up the line. 

Tony shifts his gaze to look at the man standing behind him, and it's like the spell is lifted, and the world starts spinning ‘round again. He desperately wants to look up at Tony again, but instead he keeps his eyes strictly on his sketchbook. Steve isn’t an idiot, he knows that Tony didn’t mean to come to the coffee shop that he frequents, that this is nothing more than a chance encounter, and so Steve won’t do Tony the disservice of looking back up and forcing Tony to acknowledge his presence. 

He’d reconciled himself to the idea that he might never see Tony again, so even just getting to see Tony from across a coffee shop is more than he could’ve hoped for. _It was going to happen eventually,_ he reasons, pencil idly spinning in his hand, _we were going to run into each other eventually_. After everything, the least that Steve can do is give Tony the option to gracefully make an exit.

“Is this seat taken?” says a voice near him and Steve opens his mouth to say no, because he doesn’t want company right now but the words get stuck in his mouth - because Tony is hovering near the empty chair.

“Steve?” Tony says again, furrowing his brows, “Are you waiting on someone?” 

“No!” Steve half-yells, suddenly terrified that Tony will walk away. Tony raises an eyebrow and he clears his throat, “I mean no, not it's not taken.”

“So I can sit down I presume?” Tony asks teasingly, and Steve replies “Anytime.” He means it to come out flippant, to match the tone that Tony is obviously trying to set, but from the way Tony’s face twists, it must come out as honest instead.

Still, Tony doesn’t call him out on it, just smoothly settles in the chair opposite him. Steve’s heart is beating so hard that he can hear it roaring inside him, but then Tony flashes him a soft smile - and it's like everything inside him settles. 

\--

Things get better after that. 

Steve had assumed that the meeting at the coffee shop was a fluke, hoarding the stilted bits of small talk close to his chest like a dragon hoards gold - but Tony shows up at the coffee shop every Wednesday morning like clockwork; grabbing a coffee and settling down in front of Steve for light conversation while he sips his drink. 

They fall into a tentative friendship. It isn’t as easy or as smooth as what they used to have, but Steve can recognise that it's far more than he thought he would have a month ago, and when it comes to Tony, he’ll take what he can get.

That, at least is familiar. 

They talk about everything they’ve missed in each other’s lives over the last six months - from Steve’s degree (he graduated last month and is sending out portfolios to galleries), to SI (Tony just got back from a two week event in Tokyo) and everything in between.

Once, Steve tried to bring up Bucky, but Tony held up his hand and said in a pained tone, “Don’t. I’m not ready for that, not yet.”

Steve had nodded, “Until you are ready, just please know how terribly sorry I am,” and that had been the end of it. 

It isn’t good, there’s periods of silence, and times when Steve can see Tony pulling away from him, building up walls so that he doesn't get hurt again, so that Steve doesn’t hurt him again, but then Steve will say something and Tony will smile, wide and unabashed - and it’s worth it. 

Tony has always been worth it. 

\--

He knows that he has to bring it up with Bucky, but that doesn’t mean that Steve’s looking forward to it. Or that it’s going to be an easy conversation. 

Hence why Steve is currently cooking for the first time in almost two weeks, and he’s pulling out all the stops. He’s just about to put the lasagna in the oven when there’s a knock at the door, and he cranes his neck back to yell “It’s open!!”

A couple of seconds later, Bucky shows up in his line of sight, and whistles lowly when he sees the mess in the kitchen. “Aw shucks Stevie you didn’t need to do all this for little ol’ me, what’s the occasion?” he says in an exaggerated tone, and Steve rolls his eyes. 

“Can’t a fella cook his best pal a lasagna without getting the second degree?” he tries for a joking tone, but from the way Bucky’s eyebrows arch, it obviously falls flat. 

“A fella can,” Bucky starts cautiously, “but somehow I don’t think that’s what's going on here.” _So much for weaselling out of this_ , Steve thinks, patting his hands against his apron and turning to Bucky. 

“I have to tell you something, but I don’t think you’re going to like it very much,” Steve stuffs his fists in the pockets of his jeans, “just - just wait until I’m done before you say anything?”

“Stevie, you didn’t kill someone did you?” Bucky chuckles nervously, “because I have to be upfront with you, these shoes aren’t made for mud and I don’t have a shovel on me.” 

“No it's not that don’t be a punk,” Steve licks his lips, heart beating erratically against his chest, “I’m uhh - I’ve been seeing Tony for the past couple of months.”

Bucky goes unnaturally still and Steve rushes to explain, “Not in the way you’re thinking of! I’m not like stepping out with him or nothing, he’s just - you know the coffee shop round the corner from SI? I go there sometimes when I’m stuck for inspiration or need a change in scenery and for the past couple of weeks, Tony’s been showing up too. It’s honestly nothing, he just hangs around long enough to get through a coffee and then he’s off but I wanted you to know.”

Steve rubs the back of his head and says firmly, “I fucked up with both of you once and I’m not about to do it again. There’s nothing going on I swear on my Ma, but I am seeing him again.”

Bucky stays quiet for what feels like an eternity, before he says in a very quiet tone, “Do you still love him?”

“I think I might love him until I die,” Steve says back, equally soft, and Bucky nods once. He pulls out a chair and sits down. Steve opens his mouth to say something, but the oven pings; and he’s forced to grab oven mitts and pull out the lasagna before it burns. 

When he sets the carousel down on the table, Bucky starts up conversation like everything’s normal, like Steve didn’t just admit to being in love with his ex-fiance - and while Steve isn’t naive enough to think that that’s the end of it, the knot that’s been building in his stomach ever since Tony sat down across him in the coffee shop a month ago slowly loosens. 

\-- 

“So,” Sam says, apropos of nothing, “Are you gonna tell him?”. Steve jerks in surprise, almost dropping the tub of paint in his hand onto the easel he’s been staring out for the last 10 minutes. He turns to face Sam with a glare, hoping it conveys all of his complex emotions, but Sam just stares back, unrepentant.

“Well?” Sam asks again when Steve isn’t forthcoming, “Are you?”. Sam’s gaze shifts to the canvas that Steve was previously staring at, and Steve doesn’t need to look behind him to know that the half done face of Tony Stark is going to be staring back at him. 

“No,” Steve says mulishly, “I’m not. I just got Tony and Bucky back in my life again, I’m not going to fuck that up a second time.” 

“Because keeping this,” his hands gesture vaguely at the canvas, “keeping this from him is exactly what fucked things up the first time. But no, I can see your point about how doing the exact same thing is a good idea. What’s that quote from Einstein? Something about how a fool does the same thing over and over and expects a new outcome?” 

“Fuck off,” Steve says, throwing a rag that Sam expertly dodges, but its half hearted. He knows that Sam’s right, but he’s just reached a good place with Tony, and he knows in his bones that telling Tony about his feelings will just fuck that up again. He can’t do it, he won’t do it. He won’t live through losing Tony a second time. 

“Steve I’m serious, what’s your game plan here? Are you just going to pine uselessly for the rest of your life? He’s going to move on from Bucky eventually you know, what happens then? Are you just going to watch him fall for other people all over again? I don’t get your angle here.”

“There is no angle!” Steve says loudly, before clearing his throat and bringing his voice back to normal, “There is no angle, there is no game plan there’s just - keeping Tony in my life.” He looks up at Sam with wide eyes, “I can’t go through that again Sam, and if that means just keeping him part-time, then that’s enough for me.”

There must be something in Steve’s voice, because he knows that Sam came here with the intent of fighting him but he just deflates, padding over to pull Steve in for a hug. He rests his chin against the top of Steve’s head, running his fingers through his hair, and Steve lets himself lean against Sam’s chest. 

“I won’t push it anymore,” Sam murmurs after a fashion, “but I think you should tell him Rogers. His answer might surprise you.”

 _That’s what I’m afraid of,_ Steve thinks to himself, but says nothing - just hums in reply. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit (06.10.2020) : this chapter note previously contained information about a possible companion piece to this fic from Tony's perspective. i have since found out that the content of how that companion piece might become a reality violate AO3's TOS, and have therefore removed it. if you are interested in a companion piece; please drop me an ask on tumblr, and make it clear that you are requesting information for a companion piece for this AU


	4. part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve tries to move on from Tony. Tony has some thoughts about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> major s/o to @iam93percentstardust and @lilacqueen for looking over this, i wouldn’t have been able to post this without you guys

Despite what Steve told Sam, he couldn’t get his words out of his head. _His answer might surprise you_ , Sam had said last week, and it ruminates in Steve’s head - refusing to let him go. Steve might not be the best judge of character, but he’d like to think that he can recognise attraction, especially when he’s the object of said affection. Could he really have - no there’s no way. ****

(Right?)

 _‘No it’s impossible’,_ Steve thinks to himself, fists pounding at the bag in front of him, as if punching it hard enough will make these words leave him alone, _‘I’ve been friends with Tony for 5 years, I would’ve known.’_

Steve knows what attraction looks like for Tony, he knows it intimately and deeply, he watched it directed at every person who made Tony’s head turn, he saw it in every relationship that Tony pursued, he recognised it in every look of long lost fondness, and it was never directed at him.

Hell, Steve had been instrumental in some of those relationships himself, deluding himself in the belief that if he saw Tony with someone else it would somehow help him get over his own feelings and finally move on. 

_Sam just doesn’t know what he’s talking about_ , Steve thinks resolutely, collapsing onto the floor of the gym in exhaustion, one hand half-heartedly extended to still the bag, _He doesn’t know what attraction looks like for Tony._

Steve wasn’t sure of a lot, but he was absolutely sure that Tony had never shown him any sort of affection. It wouldn’t do him good to dwell on Sam’s words - because he’d meant what he said, he’d rather have Tony part-time than none at all, and wondering about impossibilities is what ruined their friendship in the first place.

No, Steve had to make a concentrated and forceful effort to dull his feelings, or at the very least bury them so far down that nobody could reach them, if he wanted any chance of making his friendship with Tony work. He lays on the floor of the gym for a couple more minutes, trying to catch his breath - before ignoring his screaming muscles so he can stand up. He pulls up the end of his tank so that he can wipe off the sweat that’s collected on his brows, and just as he’s pulling it back down and adjusting it - he catches the receptionist giving him an appreciative once over from the corner of his eye.

 _Huh,_ he thinks, looking around for his water-bottle so that he can take a large sip (and also pour some on himself to cool down, _Interesting._

It’s been an age since Steve has flirted with someone, but it doesn’t mean he’s forgotten _how_. He isn’t vain by any means, but he knows that he isn’t ugly, and that if he tried he might actually have an active love life - or at the very least, an active sex life. He just hasn't wanted to. _Not since Tony_ , his traitorous mind supplies, and even now - just thinking of hitting on someone else feels like he’s cheating on Tony.

But he and Tony aren’t more than friends, and if he’s serious about moving on - then he needs to go all in. _You have to run before you walk and all that jazz,_ he thinks to himself grimly, grits his teeth and puts on his most winning smile when he reaches the front desk. 

“Hey,” he says as he passes over his member-card, tilting his head and smiling warmly at the receptionist, “I’m Steve.” Predictably, she blushes, and says, “I’m Sharon,” as she passes his card back, “looks like you had a good workout back there.”

“Oh that?” he instills fake nonchalance into his voice, “That’s just an off day for me.” This can go one of two days - either she’ll wrinkle her nose at his obvious brag, or she’ll giggle. 

She giggles, and even though Steve isn’t attracted to her at all (he doesn’t think he knows how to be attracted to anyone but Tony anymore), he still preens internally, because after all his time, he’s still got it. They chat for a couple more minutes, and Sharon works in asking for his number before he can get around to it. Steve scribbles it on the closest scrap piece of paper that he finds, before waving goodbye and making his way out. 

He’s out of the building and about to turn the corner when his phone buzzes. He pulls it out to see a text from Sharon:

> >> Sharon: free on Wednesday for a coffee?? X

His instinctive reaction is to say no, because Wednesday is his day with _Tony_ , but then he remembers his newfound resolution to move on from Tony and pauses. Cancelling on friends for a date, that’s a normal thing right? Steve is almost certain it is. _All in_ , Steve thinks to himself again, fingers hovering over his keyboard.

> >> Steve: works for me!!

The entire way home, he vehemently tries to ignore the growing pit in his stomach. 

(He fails)

/

Steve’s in the middle of debating whether a button up is too much for a coffee date or whether Sharon will appreciate that he’s made an effort when his bell rings. And then rings again. And again. And then he hears fists on his door. 

“What the fuck?” he mutters under his breath, grabbing the closest vee and pulling it over his head as he makes his way over to the door, yelling “I’m coming!!” when the knocking gets more incessant. 

He opens the door and he barely has any time to digest the fact that it’s Tony at the door before Tony pushes past him in a huge motion of flurry and stops in the middle of his living room, spinning on his heel and pointing a finger at him. 

“You - !” is all he gets out before he lets out an incoherent scream, and Steve says, “Come in,” dumbly because his mind is still trying to process the fact that Tony is here, in his house, 20 minutes before he’s supposed to go on a date. 

Steve knows that that’s supposed to mean something, but right now his mind is hyper-focused on the fact that Tony is here. Meanwhile, Tony seems to have regained use of his mouth because he’s clearly yelling at Steve.

“ - because Rhodey says I’m supposed to be using my words, so this is me trying to use my words. What do you mean ‘you have a date?” he asks furiously, pointing at his phone aggressively, “What does that _mean_?”

“I uh,” Steve fumbles his words, “the girl at my gym asked me out a couple days ago. Asked to meet for coffee. I said yes.” 

  
“I know what a date is Steven,” Tony stresses his name, “I’m just trying to understand what you’re doing going on one.” Tony looks crestfallen all of a sudden, and for the life of him, Steve can’t figure out why, “I thought we -” he gestures half-heartedly between them, “Did I misread everything again?”

Something akin to hope starts growing inside Steve, and he blames the fact that his entire world view is changing on the fact that he almost misses Tony’s words. 

Almost. 

“What do you mean _again_?” Steve asks slowly, carefully, “We’re friends. We’ve always been friends. That’s all we’ve ever been. Just friends.” 

  
“Is that really what you think?” Tony asks, and his voice sounds wretched, “That we’ve only ever been friends. Have I truly never been more to you?” _His answer might surprise you,_ Sam’s words come back to him, unbidden, and suddenly Steve feels like his whole heart is in his throat. 

“Tony,” he says softly, deliberately, because if this goes wrong he doesn’t know what he’ll do with himself, “Tony I’ve been in love with you for close to five years. It was never my decision for us to stay friends. That was always yours.”

  
“Five yea - you never gave me any indication that you wanted more!!” Tony’s face is red, and his hands are running through his hair and leaving it messy and spiky.   
“How could I?” Steve asks helplessly, “you always belonged to someone else.” 

He shrugs, eyes falling to his feet “I never thought it was my place. Hell Tony, you fell in love with my bestfriend, what was I supposed to do - pull you aside and tell you to leave him for me? I couldn’t do that to Buck, or you.”

“No!” Tony points at him threateningly, “no you do _not_ get to put Bucky on me. You all but begged Bucky to get back together with me, he showed up at my door talking this and that about you told him that we were _‘fated to be together’_. How else was I supposed to take that apart from proof that you didn’t want me?” Tony starts listing names off his fingers. “Rumiko, Ty, hell you even convinced me to get back together with Sunset, saying shit about _‘Oh Tony you’ve just misunderstood her’_ and _‘She just wants another chance’_.”

“I just wanted you to be happy,” Steve says in a small voice, “Even if it wasn’t with me.” 

Tony takes in a deep breath, and it’s like all the fight leaves him as he exhales. “5 years?” he asks, and Steve doesn’t think he’s making up the wonder in Tony’s voice. When he looks up, Tony is close enough that they could be sharing the same breath, “I could’ve had you for 5 years?”

Steve’s breath catches in his throat, “You mean -?”

“Have you not been listening? I love you too, you absolute dumbass.”

Steve’s wanted to hear those words for so long, but now that he finally has - he doesn’t know what to do. Fortunately, Tony has no such qualms, and leans up on his toes, to press a feather-light kiss on his lips. 

“I love you too Steve,” he says again softly, against his lips, and Steve lifts an arm to cup his face, thumb carefully rubbing against his cheek. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that,” Steve says, “It feels like I’m dreaming.”

“Well now that you have,” Tony says cheekily, “What’re you going to do about it?”

Steve doesn’t reply, just leans down ever so slightly and seals their lips together, feeling the knot in his stomach unfurl and unwind, until there’s nothing left in him but happiness. He kisses and kisses and kisses until he’s walked Tony backwards against a wall and he’s got a thigh in between his legs. He kisses until he’s left a map of bruises against his neck and Tony’s skin is flushed red. He kisses until he can’t kiss any more - because he doesn’t know what he’s going to do now that he has Tony in his arms; but he knows with singular focus that he’s never going to let him go. 

_Fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit (25.07.2020):  
> okay i got some rly nasty comments on this so i just wanted to remind people of a couple things:
> 
> 1\. the fic is a snapshot fic. all its meant to do is deal with one specific plot point in time.  
> 2\. the entire thing is from Steve's perspective who is purposely an unreliable narrator.  
> 3\. you dont get Tony's perspective. you dont even get a lot of interactions w Tony. this is by design because (see above) this is a snapshot fic.  
> if you would like to see more of how their friendship originally developed, or how they repaired things - my commissions are open. However, any hate will be automatically deleted. As my mother used to say, 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it'.
> 
> Edit (06.10.2020) : this chapter note previously contained information about a possible companion piece to this fic from Tony's perspective. i have since found out that the content of how that companion piece might become a reality violate AO3's TOS, and have therefore removed it. if you are interested in a companion piece; please drop me an ask on tumblr, and make it clear that you are requesting information for a companion piece for this AU

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr saw it first](https://ad1thi.tumblr.com/tagged/just-friends-au)   
>  [my ig](https://www.instagram.com/desi_tonystark/)   
> 


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